Free Market Thought Leadership
Callahan Auto Defeats Zalinsky Takeover Attempt
SANDUSKY, OH - A shocking week for Callahan Auto Parts came to a fortunate close today as new Chief Executive Thomas Callahan III successfully defended the firm from Chicago rival,...
15 Apr 2019
Defying Patagonia, Columbia Sportswear Vest Specifically for High Performance Finance
BEAVERTON, WA - Although rivals have eschewed finance professionals, the Columbia Sportswear Company is leaning into the demographic by releasing a new line of fleece vests that have been specifically...
04 Apr 2019
Embattled Boeing Taps Ghost of Howard Hughes to Design, Pilot 737 Replacement
CHICAGO, IL - “There’s only one man we considered for the job;” announced Boeing Chief Executive Dennis Muilenburg, “Howard Hughes may have died over 40 years ago, but he’s still...
27 Mar 2019
Holistic Business School Teaches Financial Accounting through Interpretive Dance
12 Mar 2019
Papal Indulgence Market Bullish After Pope Denounces Sexual Abusers
VATICAN CITY - Reacting to Pope Francis’ condemnation of sexual abuse at a Vatican summit last week, indulgence trading desks at the Holy See expect strong demand as many more...
03 Mar 2019
IBM Rebrands Red Hat, Will Focus on Legacy Windows 98 Support
ARMONK, NY - Accelerating cloud computing was the goal when IBM acquired Red Hat(RHT) last October, and now the technology giant has announced that the former open-source darling will be...
21 Feb 2019
Trask Acquires Metro Radio for $19.5 Million
NEW YORK, NY - Trask Industries agreed to acquire the regional radio network Metro Radio Systems in a $19.5 billion bet on jump-starting its efforts to enter broadcast media as...
15 Feb 2019
Hedge Fund Manager Specializes in Emotionally Distressed Value Dating
NEW YORK, NY - Realizing that the New York City dating scene was no longer providing satisfactory returns, local finance professional Jason Harner has turned to alternative markets to find...
07 Feb 2019
Is the Global Pineapple Market the Next Big Bubble?
OMAHA, NE - How much do we really know about pineapples? I know that they’re all around us, they’re supposed to be “tropical” but no one can tell me when...
07 Jan 2019
Duke & Duke Collapses Under Commodities Futures
PHILADELPHIA, PA - Duke & Duke Commodity Brokers, one of the largest brokerage firms in Philadelphia, has collapsed after the first day of trading this year after the United States...
03 Jan 2019
Sexual Harassment Condoned at Uber to Temper IPO Expectations
SAN FRANCISCO - Having filed it’s S-1 with the Securities and Exchange Commission in the last days of 2018, the ride-hailing service Uber is expected to launch it’s initial public...
02 Jan 2019
BREAKING: Caped Crusader Spotted on Wall Street
NEW YORK CITY, NY - A mysterious figure was spotted in Downtown Manhattan late Friday night. Reports of the same individual or individuals have been rippling throughout the Financial District...
01 Dec 2018
Warren Recommends: Dirty Lemon
Hello there, Investing Buddies, Do you own everything from Goop that comes in rose gold? Do you say that “broad city” is you spirit animal but live in a Chelsea...
08 Nov 2018
Vanguard Adviser Also Passively Managing Own Life
MALVERN, PA - Mid-level fund adviser Donald Burton at The Vanguard Group has extended his investment strategy of passive management into his personal life. Instead of seeking out social activities,...
17 Aug 2018
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