BREAKING: Caped Crusader Spotted on Wall Street

BREAKING: Caped Crusader Spotted on Wall Street
Warren Warren
I am the Kwisatz Haderach of value investing

NEW YORK CITY, NY - A mysterious figure was spotted in Downtown Manhattan late Friday night. Reports of the same individual or individuals have been rippling throughout the Financial District over the past week. Who is this masked man? What business does he have in the deep recesses of Wall Street?

Little is known about him (or her) besides the trail of avenged white-collar crimes that he leaves in his wake. Yesterday morning, Securities and Exchange Commission officers were alerted to new evidence in a series of high-profile insider trading incidents by the caped crusader. Having delivered multiple accordion folders filled with bound and collated dossiers detailing how investment managers across several large banks improperly acted on private corporate information, as well as the bound and collated bankers themselves, the anonymous vigilante vanished into the morning bustle of downtown. The only hint to his identity was a business card with the words “REVERSE BATMAN”. The card itself had subtle off-white coloring and a tasteful thickness to it; it even had a watermark.

More to follow as events unfold.

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