Opinion

Satanic Orgy Also Networking Event

UNDISCLOSED LOCATION, LOWER MANHATTAN - The Society of Baphomet, an ancient cult devoted to orgiastic rites, held their first networking get-together of the spring this week in a cavernous, underground...

Isn't Corporate America Diverse Enough?

NEW YORK, NY - There seems to have been a quite the kerfuffle lately about certain firms and their recent promotion practices. Now I’ve been in the corporate world for...

Hedge Fund Manager Specializes in Emotionally Distressed Value Dating

NEW YORK, NY - Realizing that the New York City dating scene was no longer providing satisfactory returns, local finance professional Jason Harner has turned to alternative markets to find...

Your Entire Team Could Keep Their Jobs with Money Consultants Got to Fire You

YOUR OFFICE - Citing revenue numbers that failed to reach projections, consultants from Bain & Company have recommended that your team be mostly eliminated although their retained fees are far...

Reservist Coworker 'Deploys', Gets Paid to Drink, Party in San Diego

ATLANTA, GA - Associate claims adjuster Gary Gaviola from the Metlife (MET) regional office in Atlanta has reportedly “deployed” again with his U.S. Navy Reserve unit, which is conducting training...

BREAKING: Caped Crusader Spotted on Wall Street

NEW YORK CITY, NY - A mysterious figure was spotted in Downtown Manhattan late Friday night. Reports of the same individual or individuals have been rippling throughout the Financial District...