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TSA Employees Resort to Loose Change from X-Ray Conveyor Amid Gov Shutdown

MIAMI, FL - As the longest U.S. government shutdown in history slogs into its fourth week with no end in sight, Transportation Security Administration officials have resorted to making up...

Bodega Cat Promoted to CFO

127th & FREDERICK DOUGLAS BLVD - Gourmet & Deli Bodega has tapped Rocky, a gray tabby, as their Chief Financial Officer on Tuesday. Rocky, who joined the firm in 2012,...

Your Entire Team Could Keep Their Jobs with Money Consultants Got to Fire You

YOUR OFFICE - Citing revenue numbers that failed to reach projections, consultants from Bain & Company have recommended that your team be mostly eliminated although their retained fees are far...

Is the Global Pineapple Market the Next Big Bubble?

OMAHA, NE - How much do we really know about pineapples? I know that they’re all around us, they’re supposed to be “tropical” but no one can tell me when...

Apple Discovers that Underpaid Chinese Laborers Can't Afford $1,000 iPhones

SHENZHEN, CHINA - As Apple (AAPL) posts disappointing revenue projections for the coming year, mainly due to slower sales in China, analysts at the company have been scrambling to pinpoint...

Duke & Duke Collapses Under Commodities Futures

PHILADELPHIA, PA - Duke & Duke Commodity Brokers, one of the largest brokerage firms in Philadelphia, has collapsed after the first day of trading this year after the United States...