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'Do What You Love and You'll Never Work a Day in Your Life' Proclaims Used Urinal Cake Taste Tester

PATTERSON, NJ - “Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life,” proclaims used urinal cake taste tester.

Fed Undertakes Quantitative Pleasing Efforts to Get Everyone to Just Calm Down

WASHINGTON - With everyone from economists to small businesses watching the the Federal Reserve this week, Chairman Jerome H. Powell announced that the central bank would be enacting strong quantitative...

Real Estate Startup Arrears Transforms Foreclosed Houses into Strip Clubs

DAYTONA BEACH, FL - The 2008 housing bubble devastated few regions more than the Florida coast, but thankfully one startup has set aim for revitalizing the area. The real estate...

U.N. Contract to Airdrop Aid into Syria Awarded to Lunchables

DAMASCUS - The last resort of humanitarian aid has been valiantly taken up by the last resort of prepackaged meals as Lunchables has been selected to provide 15 tones of...

Gold Futures Down as Leprechaun Cabal Shows Signs of Breaking

DUBLIN, IRELAND - Commodities speculators this week are shedding gold futures in anticipation of a market flood. The storied Leprechaun cabal, which has artificially kept prices high for centuries by...

HR Adopts Haptic Feedback System

PHOENIX, AZ - The local human resources department of global accounting firm KPMG has implemented a haptic system to relay immediate feedback to employees. This novel form of communication uses...