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Puppy Mill Under Investigation by Puppy Labor Bureau

KNOXVILLE, TN - Reports of abuse at puppy mills are not new, but this week a flour mill owned by the Sara Lee is being heavily scrutinized by the Puppy...

Client Presentation Includes Entirety of Kubrick's 1975 Epic 'Barry Lyndon'

FORT WAYNE, IN - Sources have confirmed that last Thursday’s presentation to client executives, ostensibly about “Supply Chain Optimization,” did include a complete viewing of Stanley Kubrick’s period masterpiece, Barry...

Beyond Meat CEO Driven to Push Beyond All Other Corporeal Limitations As Well

EL SEGUNDO, CA - “Releasing ourselves from the burden of consuming flesh is only the beginning,” announced Ethan Brown to a rapt audience at the headquarters of Beyond Meat, the...

ExxonMobile Celebrates Pride Month by Dumping Rainbow Oil Sheen Across Arctic

ANCHORAGE, AK - In a show of solidarity with the LGBT community during Pride Month many companies have unveiled new logos that incorporates the rainbow flag, but only ExxonMobile has...

BREAKING: Target Will Close in Five Minutes

WILKES-BARRE, PA - Good evening, Super Target guests, our registers will close in five minutes. Please make your final selections and take your items to the registers located at the...