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Philadelphia Returns to Wampum Currency to Combat 'Cashless' Retail

PHILADELPHIA, PA - This old school, physical currency might be the next wave of a more egalitarian economy in the City of Brotherly Love. Amid the trend of ‘cashless’ coffee...

Papal Indulgence Market Bullish After Pope Denounces Sexual Abusers

VATICAN CITY - Reacting to Pope Francis’ condemnation of sexual abuse at a Vatican summit last week, indulgence trading desks at the Holy See expect strong demand as many more...

Inessential Oils Startup Fails to Gain Traction in Local Facebook Group

GREENSBORO, NC - Despite a fervent marketing push across social media, recent inessential oils startup Scentique is struggling to break into the lucrative ecosystem of the Greensboro Buy/Sell + Small...

Tesla Board Replaces Elon Musk's Phone with Speak & Spell

PALO ALTO, CA - Following another contentious bout between Elon Musk and the Securities Exchange Commission, the Tesla (TSLA) board voted unanimously to replace their Chief Executive’s phone with a...

U.K. to be Set Adrift as No-Deal Brexit Looms

CALAIS, FRANCE - Citing a lack of progress in last-minute negotiations between the United Kingdom and the European Union, longshoremen have lined French beaches to cast off the British Isles...

IBM Rebrands Red Hat, Will Focus on Legacy Windows 98 Support

ARMONK, NY - Accelerating cloud computing was the goal when IBM acquired Red Hat(RHT) last October, and now the technology giant has announced that the former open-source darling will be...