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Re-animated Corpse of Robespierre Dem Frontrunner in 2020

MANCHESTER, NH - The wide race for the 2020 Democratic presidential bid expanded today, as the re-animated corpse of French revolutionary Maximilien Robespierre announced his candidacy in New Hampshire. Recent...

Two-page Resume Only Internships, Interests

NEW YORK, NY - While sifting through a stack of applications this morning, hiring manager Danielle Carin was noticeably confused by a resume spanning two whole pages while containing only...

Trask Acquires Metro Radio for $19.5 Million

NEW YORK, NY - Trask Industries agreed to acquire the regional radio network Metro Radio Systems in a $19.5 billion bet on jump-starting its efforts to enter broadcast media as...

Bezos Selfies had been Uploaded on Amazon Prime for Weeks Completely Unnoticed

SEATTLE, WA - As the saga of Amazon (AMZN) founder Jeff Bezos’ divorce, and threats of extortion by the National Enquirer over his lewd selfies unfolds, perhaps the most startling...

Hedge Fund Manager Specializes in Emotionally Distressed Value Dating

NEW YORK, NY - Realizing that the New York City dating scene was no longer providing satisfactory returns, local finance professional Jason Harner has turned to alternative markets to find...